Saturday, November 16, 2013

Celebrity Weight Loss Ads

Oh man I am so fucking sick of these. Ads telling me if I drink this concoction that tastes like cat piss mixed with fermented tuna juice I'll look like Beyonce, if I eat this bar that looks like fossilised poo and tastes like cardboard I'll look like Jennifer Anniston, if I take this pill that's big enough to be swallowed by a whale I'll look like Kim Kardashian, STOP IT, JUST FUCKING STOP IT. Because it's absolute bullshit, there's no way if I do any of all of these things that I'll look like any or all of those people. These people are a.) paid millions of dollars to spruik this shit, b.) they have millions of dollars to help them lose weight.  Even if I schlepped my arse to the gym for 6 hours every day and only ate lettuce and became a shell of my former self I'm not going to look like them, not unless I had lots of surgery which I'm not going to do because I'm sure I'd still find things I'm unhappy about and also I'm poor.

They have millions of dollars to pay for nannies, personal trainers, personal chefs and if all else fails surgery to nip and tuck everything in that they're still not quite happy with. This is not fucking inspirational, this is a crock, I'd be far more inspired by someone who has lost lots of weight under their own sheer hard work and determination, whilst working 5 days a week and looking after 4 kids, THAT'S INSPIRATIONAL.

But in saying that, how about just telling us that we are fine the way we are and if we are happy then that's fab, but if we aren't happy then making changes is awesome and if that's what makes us happy then YAY! WHY CAN'T YOU TELL US THIS? Stop telling us that we are fat and ugly and we should want to look like all these celebrities, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH US.

And all these ads are of course targeted at women, there are no ads telling men that if they do this, that and the other that they'll look like hot celeb men, so stop telling this shit to us, we don't want to fucking hear this bullshit anymore.

And you know what, I'm sure there's something on these celebs bodies that they don't like either, but hardly anyone ever tells you that, no one is fucking perfect, no one, and if anyone thinks that they are then I call bullshit on that, BULLSHIT.

Oh and I lost the majority of my weight just by changing my eating whilst looking after a family of 5 which includes 3 small children, SO THERE'S THAT!

Monday, November 11, 2013

About Bullying

It sucks, it well an truly sucks. Who the hell do these bullies think they are that they can make someone's life so miserable that they no longer want to live it? Have their parents taught them nothing? Or do they come from a family who has taught them that these kinds of thing are wrong and completely abhorrent but they still do them anyway? What's going on here? I know that I have taught and will continue to teach my children that teasing anyone about anything is simply not on, not ever, what makes these kids that do do it so different from mine I wonder? What makes them think that this kind of behaviour is ok? What makes them think that they are better than anyone else? Have these questions ever been asked and answered properly? I find this situation really hard to fathom.

What are the schools doing to support these young people? I've often heard that the principal in these circumstances has said "we'll keep an eye on the situation" which is really code for "I'm not really sure what to do about it but I'm hoping this will placate you enough to not bring it up again so I don't actually have to to anything" and this is simply not good enough, you must take further action. Young people are losing their lives because of this matter and it shouldn't be happening. Unfortunately for all the good an decent people there will never be an arsehole cull, so unfortunately these kinds of people will still be here, so we desperately need change, harsh penalties for anyone who thinks that bullying someone is ok. Which is why I have signed this petition, let this be a voice for change

And to anyone who is suffering from bullying I can only say sorry, sorry that you have to go through this, but know that you are good and you are precious and these people don't even come close to being as good as you. Have strength to fight back and know that these people are not better than you, no one is better than you, we are all the same, some have more than others maybe but that doesn't make them better, some people are famous, that doesn't make them better, some people may think that they're prettier than you, that doesn't make them better, some people might be thinner than you, that doesn't make them better. You should also watch this video, it has a very important message for you:

For the bullies out there, your time of fairly free reign on people and their lives will come to an end, change is coming and I wouldn't want to be in your shoes, not for quids. You have no right to do these things, NO RIGHT, you are not better than anyone else and you should get that into your head.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

About parents who blame other kids when it's their kid that's the problem


Now our kid isn't perfect, none of them are, if you think that your kid is perfect then this post probably addresses you. We've had 2 issues of kids dobbing on parents and telling exactly what their parents have said about our kid and seriously these kids themselves have been the problem and not ours. Parents have called our kid "naughty" and also a "pest" which yeah he can be, but not in these instances it has been the other kid, THE OTHER KID. One issue was in kinder, that kid was a jerk and not even friends with Jonah, but this most recent issue has been with Jonah's best friend and I know his mum fairly well and it has me disappointed because apparently she has said that her kid cannot play with my kid because he is a pest.

So I send the mum a message, a nice one, just to check if what the kid has told Jonah is true, because this kid likes to make shit up, he's made shit up to get Jonah into trouble, he has bitten Jonah, yes BITTEN, he is disruptive in class, has threatened the teacher, he has teased Jonah about personal things, are you getting the gist of this kid? And she replies back "No Bec, not exactly", which of course is code for " yes I did, fuck I've been caught out" , because I am not an idiot. Parents, you need to remember that once your kids are old enough to talk they know what you're saying and they will more than likely repeat it to someone, for instance one of my girls told the other to "fuck off" one day, so you know, if you don't want what you say repeated, DON'T FUCKING SAY IT.

Also, there's a way to say something, I don't like this kid and I have tried to persuade Jonah to play with other kids but I haven't said "__________ is a complete jerk face, I don't like him, he is a terrible person and you should play with someone else" which is all true but I would never say that because it won't be fair to the kid if Jonah tells him because it will make him sad and I don't want to be caught out like I have just caught this mum out, DER!

Anyway, this may be a rambling rant because I am really cross and upset that people blame my kid for shit that he hasn't done, fuck off with that bullshit fuckers, it's really unfair.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

About RSVPing

Recently my friend Michaela asked me to write a guest post for her blog and I was wracking my brain as to what to write, I had a few ideas and one of them was about RSVPing to events, but I thought I would save it for my blog because I knew I could go proper ranty pants on it. Because seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH NOT RSVPING TO EVENTS? We held a party this year for our son's 8th birthday, because apparently we are sometimes decent enough parents to want our children to enjoy and have fun on their birthdays.Now we outsourced this party, because we learnt our lesson from the last party that we had at home, that large groups of children in one house are equivalent to a pack of wild animals, I would not have been surprised to have found a fucking zebra carcass under the bed. So invitations were sent to school, handed over to family friends that we really like and a photo taken of one because posting letters is a pain in the arse. And then of course the waiting game starts, I always put my mobile number and hope that people will text their RSVP to me because I do not want to have to talk to people on the phone.

Slowly responses come in, one kid can't come as they play basketball, that's fine no biggie, everyone else slowly responds except 1 kid. RSVP deadline comes, still no word on whether he is coming or not. Now when you outsource a party you have to say how many kids are coming when you confirm numbers, but I still had no idea, I didn't have his mum's number so I could text her about it, so messages were sent to school to ask whether he was coming or not, all we got back from the kid was "I hope my mum can find it", WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DOES THAT MEAN KID? WHAT??? So all I could do was assume that he was coming, because that kind of sounds like he might be coming right?

So party day arrives, everyone is excited and to the bowling alley we go. Kids start trickling in, presents are handed over and our party host is handling everything, which of course I LOVE because handling stuff sucks. It gets past party start time and 2 kids are missing, one of them is "I hope my mum can find it kid", thinking maybe his mum can't find it and maybe he's just running late. The other missing kid arrives, HIS mum couldn't find it, she didn't know it was INSIDE the shops, perhaps she could have looked this up before leaving home, AS MOST PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY AREN'T SURE OF PLACES.


But seriously you guys, is it THAT hard to RSVP to an event? If you can't come it's ok, I won't be so upset and offended that I'll leap off the nearest building. If you don't want to come that's ok too, just make some shit up so you don't have to be a bitch about it, I'll never know unless you tell me, especially if I don't know you and cannot see on any form of social media that you were bulling. IT'S OK TO NOT GO TO AN EVENT BUT FUCKING SAY YOU AREN'T COMING.

I don't care if it's a relaxed occasion with friends, that's no biggie, but you know, for parties and stuff that need to be catered for or kids parties that need a minimum of kids and you have to pay and confirm numbers it's necessary to RSVP, NECESSARY YOU GUYS.

So in conclusion don't be a jerk, RSVP.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

About respect

Or lack thereof really. When the fuck did humans become so disrespectful? Disrespectful of not only people but also things. Who the fuck thinks it's ok to show people and things such disrespect? Yet if others showed these people a lack of respect, for them or their things they'd be jumping up and down about it, what fucking gives yo?

All around me I see people disrespecting others, disrespecting things, disrespecting property and I can't help but wonder why? And it seems unnecessary, don't disrespect someone just because you don't share the same opinion on something, don't disrespect something just because it's not yours, where the fuck do you get off doing this? You're hurting a person or damaging something that's not yours, do you realise this and just don't care? In this case I ask what happened to make you this way? Why do you feel it necessary to be an arsehole? Do you like people thinking that you're an arsehole? I simply don't get it?

And of course there are people that don't deserve respect, I know this, I don't respect lots of people and it's usually because they are an arsehole. But I have seen and heard of people being disrespected unnecessarily and it is just terrible, and disrespecting property and public places is just disgraceful, I hope that these people realise that if they pay taxes they're just having to pay for this shit, or are they that stupid they don't even realise this?

Anyway, this blog post is just further on I guess from the one I made about people getting their rocks off by being nasty, it's a shame we can't have a motherfucker cull, because until people stop being motherfuckers, shit like this is still going to happen *sigh* but I'm still offering up a giant cup of go fuck yourself to them because they totally deserve it.

Anywho, this ends today's rant.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

About businesses that provide goods and services

I love goods and services I use them all the time, but some businesses are ridiculously crap at providing them especially when it comes to the internet. Now I hate people a lot and I would prefer to conduct all my business without having to talk to them which is what is so great about the internet, but some people who have businesses on the internet don't seem to get this.

If you have a business on the internet you should be aware of the following things:

You should have a good website, one that tells me exactly what your business is, what your products are or what service you provide, I'm not a mind reader FFS.

You should tell me how much your service is or what your goods cost and you should allow me to order or book your service online. I do not want to have to call or fax or email or send a message by carrier pigeon, surely this is a given because I assume you want to make money from your website or else why did you bother to put your business on the internet you idiot?

Speaking of email, if I send you an email about your goods or services because you haven't provided enough information on your website, how about you fucking answer the email, it's very rude not to AND you won't get my business.

If you are a major company who offers layby you should allow this all to be done online, I can't believe you don't all do it already, how have you not already thought of this? I'm no genius and I thought of it. In fact it would be really good if I could buy all things online from your store because you know, then I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.

If you cannot do these things then perhaps an online business is not for you, maybe you should do needlepoint instead? Maybe a spot of croquet? Or perhaps just pull up your fucking socks and make some more money that I am trying to give you, I assume that was your main aim after all?